hey, it’s marie forleo and you are watchingmarietv, the place to be to create a business and life you love. today we are talking with an incredible actress,businesswoman, mother, and wife. like so many of us, she is multipassionateand she’s here to share a bit about her journey to creating a life she truly loves. bryce dallas howard continues to be one ofthe most versatile and dynamic talents both on screen and behind the camera. as an actress, you may have seen bryce inthe oscar nominated film, the help, starring in jurassic world, or you can catch her nowin disney’s pete’s dragon.
bryce made her film debut in m. night shyamalan’sthe village. she also received a golden globe nominationfor her performance as rosalind in hbo’s adaptation of shakespeare’s as you likeit. as a filmmaker, bryce has directed over adozen short films and has received numerous accolades for her work, including being shortlistedfor an oscar in 2012 for her film when you find me. she’s the founder of 9 muse’s entertainmentand lives with her husband seth, their two children, a hilarious puppy, a dignified elderlycat, and countless captive bugs. bryce, thank you so much for coming on marietv.
oh my goodness, thank you so much. it’s very surreal. i feel like i’ve memorized every singlething on this set and, you know, and everyone that you work with are basically celebritiesin my eyes, so this is… this is amazing. this is incredible. well, i love that we’re connected throughb-school, which we’ll talk about in a little bit. but first i just wanted to let you know, themore that i get to learn about you, the more i fall in love with you.
and that’s why i was so excited to haveyou on the show today because you have so many incredible stories that are so relevantfor all of us as creatives. so let’s take it back, let’s travel backin time. ok. most people know you for your knockout performanceslike in jurassic world and the help and so many other things that you’ve done. but what most people probably don’t knowis that you grew up with a learning disability. yes, a few. actually, yes.
can you tell us about…? yes, yeah. it was… looking back on it obviously itwas, like, no fun sort of as it was happening. but looking back on it i realized that itreally… it was a wonderful gift in a lot of ways because in getting diagnosed withlearning disabilities, in the going through school in a way that… i actually loved school, i loved my teachers,i loved my friends, but it was very, very, very challenging for me and it was alwaysa struggle to keep up. and the only way that i was able to keep upwas getting very clear about what my strengths
were. and so in hindsight it was fantastic becausepeople aren’t strong at everything. like, they shouldn’t be because we all needour specialized things that only we can do, like what, you know, that special gift thatonly you have. and i think just going through all of thati realized, ok, i’m very good at one thing. i’m pretty good at 4 or 5 things. and that’s how i’m gonna live my life,and it’s been really wonderful. what exactly were your learning disabilities? yeah.
totally. so basically the way it all evolved was when… i was a really happy kid, was always a happykid and sweet and stuff. and so teachers liked me and everything. and so it always pained them so much to haveto, like, bring my parents in and say, “we don’t know if she can go on to first grade.†you know? stuff like that, because i was working hardand they just, you know, they all wanted me to win.
and it’s… the first kind of red flag wasactually when i was in kindergarten going into first grade and just not being able tounderstand the concept of reading, not really understanding words or writing. and it was still early but everyone couldsee that i was going to have significant reading difficulties. as i got older, it became clear that therewere some other things as well. i mean, these are, like, technical terms. i have a processing deficiency, which is amazingbecause i got to take my sats untimed, so that was… that worked out for me.
but it is… i need to take my time with certain things,and that’s just a reality. and i think… i mean, i understand that it’s considereda disability, but i don’t feel that being thorough is a negative thing, and i’m justthorough. and then there was also a visual processingdeficiency, which is that basically i never know where i am at any time and i can’treally… like, i get lost very easily. but as it applies to school, just conceptuallyif i look at a map of the united states of america, i know where california is, i knowwhere florida is, and i don’t think i know
where anything else is. i have a general sense of things, but it’sjust very difficult for me to understand… i don’t know if it’s the geometry of itor what it is, but it’s just… it’s tricky for me. so when i was… this all kind of came toa head when i was in 7th grade and the pressure had been mounting in terms of, my school wentthrough 9th grade, getting into a high school. and a lot of the kids at my school were reallyambitious and they wanted to go to, like, exeter and, you know, just like these verychallenging academic high school programs. and my teachers were concerned and so i wentthrough a battery of tests and this is where
i learned about the learning disabilities,but there were also things that came out of it where i realized what my strengths were,and significant strengths. and so what it basically was was that my,again, i was in 7th grade, my math was at, like, a 4th grader’s level, my spellingwas at a 2nd grader’s level. i think it still is, frankly. thank goodness for spell check. amen. yes, for sure. and then, of course, you know, some challengeswith time and understanding spatial things
as well. but what came out of the test was that i amactually in the top 1% of the world for common sense. it’s called something a little bit fancier,but that’s basically what it is. and then we also learned that as i grew olderand things became more about the big picture rather than the little details, that my mindwould work very well with that. so the therapists were always kind of consolingmy parents and being like just to hang in with her, by the time she’s an adult thisis all gonna be ok. it’s, like, she’s not gonna have to beputting together, i don’t know, like grammatical
structures and identifying the prepositionsand identifying, you know, what the adverbs that would be very hard for me still, butshe can write a story. you know, she can tell a story. like, this is… like, don’t worry aboutall of that. and, again, spell check. so, anyway, what worked out for me with thistop 1% of having common sense, my best friend at the time, who is still one of my closestfriends, this incredible woman named alice levitt, and she is a genius. she’s like an off the charts genius, truly.
and she… i basically did everything that she did. so, like, whatever she was interested in,i was interested in. and i admired her so much and i admired herintellect and her wit and her very weird interests in cinema, and… like, she got me into therocky horror picture show. i just would really do anything that she woulddo. and she found this summer camp at vassar,which was summer institute for the gifted where you could take college level courses. and she was really at that stage in 7th grade.
and because she was going i was like, “iwant to go,†and my parents just kept saying, “are you sure you want to go to school inthe summer at a college?†like, they were really worried. and i was like, “no, no, no, i wanna gowith alice. it’s gonna be so fun.†and so i remember looking at the applicationbecause they were kinda like, “if you wanna do this you need to do this by yourself, becauseyou probably won’t want to do this and you’ll probably wise up and quit before you actuallyapply.†and so i was sort of left on my own to figureout how to apply and i remember looking at
the application and it actually said… itasked for transcripts, it asked for all of this, but it said that if you are in the top1 percentile in any area in a standardized test that’s been acknowledged by the school,you will gain admittance. you’ll get to go in. and i busted out those scores from all mytests for learning disabilities and i was like, “top 1%! common sense!†and i got in and i ended up going severalyears and it was wonderful. and i actually did start to piece togetherthat having common sense is sort of maybe
the most important thing to have in life. and so i just kept kind of after going toa, you know, a summer program for the gifted, it suddenly i was like, “oh, i’m one ofthose gifted challenged people. that’s what i am.†and it just… i reconceptualized kind of everything andi started to believe in myself again. because when i went to school i wasn’t thekid who was in special ed, i was the kid who was amongst these really impressive peerswho were all taking college courses in their free time.
and you probably felt inadequate. well, i thought that i would feel inadequate. well, not even. no, i think i was a little deluded. i think i… i think i felt inadequate at school. yes, definitely i felt inadequate at school,but when i saw that i could get admitted from that one thing i was like, “i belong there.†and my…
i just, i started feeling really confident. and in 9th grade i was put in an english asa second language class as my english class. and i don’t speak a second language. and then by senior year i won the englishaward in my high school. and so it was… there was definitely… therewas definitely a kind of a significant journey that happened in a very short period of timeduring my youth. well, it goes to show the power of recognizinga strength. yes. something that you can do even if there areother areas that there are challenges, and
that’s why i was really interested to hearyou tell that story because i think so many of us can be in an environment where perhapswe’re not good at everything and we can start to have that self talk that we’redeficient, we’re not good enough, we don’t belong, and yet all it takes is that one discoveryof something you are good at. and i’ll say, with common sense, it’sreally funny. my mom, who loves the show. and, mom, i love you, she’s always like,“i wanna…†a, she always wants to see more funnies. she wants to see me dancing more.
but she’s like, “you know? everything you say is really common sense,marie.†and i’m like, “yeah. you’re kinda right. it is.†so i do think it’s good. now, let’s fast forward a little bit. tell me about the trip that you took whenyou were 16 with your grandma and the very important lesson she taught you playing thenickel slots.
yes, yes, yes. so my grandparents, they grew up in oklahomaduring the great depression. and my grandfather’s family, they were farmersand my grandmother, her father was the town butcher. and his name was butch, and that was his givenname. amazing. so that was his destiny. but… so they grew up in an environment wherethey really learned about the importance of frugality and the importance of hard workand perseverance and that definitely impacted
them significantly. and so as… just in their life overall theywere just these very midwestern, zen, honorable individuals. and i admired both of them so much and mygrandfather is still with us and i still admire him and look up to him. and i would… any opportunity that i couldget to spend time with them was something that i would just jump at. so my grandmother and i in particular, wewere very, very, very close. and when i was 16 years old, it’s the agethat you have to be in order to legally walk
the floors in vegas. you can’t gamble yet, but you can actuallybe there. and my grandmother was so excited becauseshe just loved vegas. she would… her cap would be 20 dollars,so she would not spend more than 20 dollars there during the entire trip. and she would use it all just in the nickelslots. so she would just, yeah, she would just geta big cup of nickels and she would play with it. and i think it sort of symbolized, i thinkthe whole notion of gambling overall, symbolized
sort of the industry that they had been inbecause they were actors and… and it’s just a really kind of crazy, unwieldy, uncertainindustry. and so basically what happened was i wentwith them and my grandmother was playing the slot machine and she was losing and yet shewas still playing. and she just out of nowhere… i think she had the hunch that i wanted tobe an actor. and she said to me, “do you know how manyauditions the average working actor needs to go on typically before booking a job?†and this is the average for people who arepaying their sag dues.
so they’re making their living as actors. and i guessed one in 10. and she said to me, “no, it’s 64. one in 64 auditions.†and it was just this clarifying moment forme to have an understanding of what the odds statistically were. it didn’t… i feel like in creative businesses there’sso much romance, it’s like this person did this one thing and then they skyrocketed tojust never ending success.
or, you know, it’s they did it within ayear, they did it within 3 months. these unicorn stories. yes, unicorn stories. and knowing the statistics is so grounding. and so when i later when i started auditioning,and incidentally my grandmother had retired from acting during the child-rearing yearswith my dad and my uncle and as the grandkids were being born she actually went back intoacting in her sixties. love that. i know.
and she… this is how determined she was. she actually, she was counting the numberof auditions she was going on and she got up to 100 without booking a job and then she’slike, “ok, i’m gonna start the count over at one and then we’ll see if i make it to64.†and then by 64 she did actually book a job,and then she had this tremendous hot streak for the last 10 years of her life. so when i started auditioning after kind of,you know, having an understanding of these odds and being very inspired by her stick-to-itness,i just started counting. so one audition, 2 auditions.
and i promised myself i wasn’t gonna getupset if i didn’t book something before 64 auditions because that would be deludedthinking because the reality is is that’s the average. and that’s the average for a working actor. for a working actor, a successful actor. and you were just starting out. yes, and i actually said to myself also iwas like, you know, i think i’ll do the same as my grandma. i’ll get up to a hundred and then startover again.
and then, you know, if i go 200 auditionswithout anything, i might… i might look around for some feedback andsee what i could maybe do differently. and it was i believe the 48th audition forme was… i got that job. and my agent then, who is still my agent today,so we’ve worked together for 16 years, she later asked me, because it was way over ayear. and she said, “how did you not quit?†she was like, “i don’t want to offendyou with this question,†but she said, “i was really getting worried and most actorsquit long before you did.â€
and i told her that story with my grandmother. and she went, “whoa, yeah. that’s true. i wish more artists knew that. i wish more creative people understood thatbecause then they wouldn’t be so hard on themselves.†and when you’re hard on yourself, unreasonablyso, you just are gonna… things are gonna start kind of falling apart. just something in your heart just… it canfeel so sinking if you feel like you’re
the only one who’s being rejected this much. you know, when you first told me that storyi actually passed it along to my stepson who’s, you know, 22 and getting out there and goingon auditions and doing all of it. and i just love that so much and i think it’sso applicable across many creative industries. people will often say, you know, “marie,you know, how long did it take when you were starting marietv?†i’m like, well, first of all, i was doingemail broadcasts, like, way back in, like, the year 2000 and marietv has only been around,you know, for a couple years. but for the first couple it was like therewasn’t that many… and there’s still
not that many views, but it’s just… ittakes time and it takes consistency. but when you’re creating something fromnothing, it does have to be about the work. which, you know, let’s shift over to somethingi was going to ask you later but we can go here now. the power of day jobs. one of the questions we get so often is folkscan feel like they’re giving up on their dreams or their creative aspirations or theirkind of stature as an artist if they have a day job. and i just think it’s completely the opposite,so i was curious to hear your point of view.
totally the opposite. i mean, it’s… again, from my grandparents,i mean, they were really inspiring to me and they always supplemented their income andthey didn’t own a credit card until they were 50. and it was… i always saw examples of folks who were artistsand fulfilled artists and enthusiastic artists who were making their living predominantlydoing other work, you know. my grandmother was a seamstress, she workedin education. it’s something…
i think it’s something to be proud of whenyou are choosing to keep a job in order to provide for yourself and to provide for yourfamily, and to create a strong financial foundation that you’ll be able to stand on for therest of your life. that is so powerful, strategically so smart,and dignified. and i do, i think there’s this gross misconceptionof, yes, this idea that you were talking about that people feel like they’re giving upon their dreams. yes, or they’re not a real artist or theydon’t… and it’s like no, no. that makes you such a smart artist. and perhaps for some of us there’s a daythat comes perhaps that your art can provide
for you, but none of us ever know what’sgoing to happen. and as you know in your business and i knowin ours and in almost every industry, there are seasons. you know, things go up and down. and i love that, i feel like that messageneeds to get out there. there’s no shame in hard work and dignifiedwork, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your family and be able tofund your art as well. yeah, it’s only gonna empower you. you know, financial stability will provideyou the opportunity to be dedicated to your
work. and none of us do art, like, 24 hours a day,7 days a week. like, it’s not… that’s actually, that’sunrealistic. and so there’s also this other notion thatit will take up time or whatever and it’s… it’s just, even if it takes up some of thetime, financial planning is career planning. like, that’s what it is. you’re just committed to creating a basefor yourself so that you can leverage your career. and, i mean, for myself, i worked all throughhigh school because my parents, wonderfully
they took care of college, which is huge. because student loans are… out of control. just awful. but i did need to support my, you know, ineeded to figure out my apartment situation and food and, like, all of that and livingexpenses. and then the moment i left school, you know,like done. and so i knew this, i knew that there wasno trust fund on the horizon or anything and… and so when i was 14 i started working asa waitress.
i had to get a permission slip from my parentsbecause i was underage. and then i worked in a factory as… thatwas an allergy control product center and i was on the assembly line putting swatchesof fabric in these pamphlets. i actually loved that job because i alwaysgot to watch movies and so it was like… totally immersed in these wonderful films. and then all through college i was a nannypart time to the same family, i was… i worked as an assistant teacher at a daycarefor several years in the east village, i was a dog walker, i worked as a dresser for agay cabaret show downtown that my roommate at the time was the stage manager for andso she got me that job.
and i really, i did that all throughout college. they were flexible jobs, i was really lucky. that’s why i wanted to have so many. and i left school with not an enormous financialfoundation, but a substantial amount of kind of emergency savings. basically. and so i decided to keep those jobs. and, i mean, i was acting on broadway and,you know, calling the parents of the kids i was watching and saying, “ok, so,†duringintermission.
“ok, so, yeah. tomorrow i can come at 9:00, that’s great.†and then coordinating with the dog walking,you know, my dog walking clients and all of that. and it’s… and it also, it just… it tookaway so much of the fear and so, so much fear happens around the pressure of supportingyourself. and when you take that out of the equationand… and, again, it’s like difficult for me to say this even because i’m someonewho comes from a certain amount of privilege and it’s…
i’m always kind of hesitant to share thisbecause people are, “oh, you always had a safety net,†and all that kind of stuff. and listen, that is true. i mean, my mom made us believe that therewas no safety net, but god forbid, we had and that’s huge. but that didn’t… that didn’t mean thati wasn’t entirely responsible for taking care of myself. and i’m just… it freed me. it absolutely freed me.
i did all this crazy experimental theater,all this work that folks were like “you might not get hired again from doing that,â€and i was sort of… there was a… i felt a lightness. because i was like i’m not going to starvetomorrow. i’m not gonna be homeless next week. because you were working your buns off andyou were doing what you had to do. let’s fast forward because there’s somethingelse that you’ve experienced that countless if not millions of women experience afteryou had your baby, theo. you went through a really difficult time withpostpartum.
and there’s an article on goop that youwrote that i thought was just gorgeous. and what you shared, you said, “postpartumis hard to describe. the way the body and mind and spirit fractureand crumble in the wake of what most believe should be a celebratory time,†and thatpeople often choose silence because it’s so hard to share how we really feel. why was it so important for you to talk aboutthat experience so publicly? well, it’s interesting because i wasn’tprepared to talk about it and… and gwyneth paltrow was just starting goop and we kneweach other through mutual friends and i had been reading everything that she’s beenputting up and i have a lot of respect for
her. and she reached out to me and said… andshe knew that i had gone through postpartum, you know, because we’re in the same group. and… somewhat. it’s weird for me to say that. like, we have, like, we share like… mutual friends. yeah, we have mutual friends. but she had gone through that as well andshe asked if i would share it for, you know,
for goop. and i said, “of course, yes. i will,†and then i kind of sat down tostart writing it and i was like, “oh, this is really intense.†like, at that point i hadn’t been in therapy,i just hadn’t been kind of addressing it because it was just so heartbreaking to me. it was so devastating that the thing thati was looking forward to most in my life ended up being this very complicated, just reallydepressing situation where i loved my child with all of my heart and yet when i was ina room with him i just wanted to disappear.
and it’s a weird… like, that’s sucha weird concept. it’s so strange. and so it was very difficult for me to writeabout it and i’m really, really so glad that i did because it was able… like, iwas able to kind of process some of those feelings and through just various drafts ofit i was like, “oh, yeah. this is what i was feeling. this is what was troubling me.†and it was kind of this… just that processof getting it down led me to insights that helped kind of get me out of it.
it’s so hard because it’s… you can evenequate it to business stuff as well because it’s like you… when you achieve thingsthat you’ve dreamed of your whole life but you’re going through a difficult time oryou’re going through a health crisis or you… or whatever it is that’s kind ofunder… that undermines that experience, it can flatten you. it flattened me for sure. because i was also… i was also a pretty young mom and i had sortof a black and white view of things. and to feel like i was just completely failingat the most important thing that i’d ever
done like 15 minutes after giving birth, becausei felt it immediately. like, instantaneously. it was really… it was very, very difficultto navigate that. and it’s something also that i don’t knowif this is the right thing to say, but it’s like i never fully healed from it and that’salso a thing that is difficult to admit to. i remember one of my dear friends, his wifepassed away very suddenly and she was in her early forties. and when i went to the funeral, he was wearingthe same… they were jewish. and according to the traditions, he was wearingthe same clothes that he was in when she died.
and with his rabbi, they had ripped the clothes. so he was there at the funeral in ripped clothes. and the rabbi explained that the symbolismbehind that is that there are things in life where you get ripped apart and your soul getsripped apart and it cannot come together, but you can mend it. you can see it in a different way, you canmove through that experience with grace. but it’s still going to always be like that. and so that was the hardest part was kindof i was someone who always felt like i could kind of overcome things and move on from themand this is just, i mean, it’s something
that still comes up, just the grief. the grief around it. but that’s… that’s the stuff of life. that’s what happens. it is. it is what happens and that’s why i wasso… i just… i felt such a connection with you. even though i’m not a mom in the traditionalsense, i was so happy and i always get so
happy to hear women tell their stories andtheir most vulnerable stories because it’s so important. and i think in our culture that places suchan emphasis on celebrity and social media and the glossiness of things where things,you know, can just look so perfect. and, you know, we’ll have that with ourshow too. and i’m like, dude, you see me on the street,or like the day you and i had lunch, it’s like we have our hair up in buns, there’sno glam squad, there’s no makeup. and the underbelly of life that i don’tfeel like we get to share about and talk about enough.
so thank you on behalf of millions of women… my goodness, thank you. …for being willing to say that and to shareit. and it’s also, it’s… i fall victim to that too where i’m… i remember, like, i just assumed i was gonnalose all the weight really, really quickly. because i’m like, “i’m young and thisactress did it and that actress did it.†and just feeling so disappointed comparingmyself to folks who seemed to, you know, just breeze through it.
and the reality is is they’re not breezingthrough it. who breezes through that? right. like, it’s like… my best friend actually,today, she just had a child and she’s my goddaughter, and she has so much experiencewith children. she practically, like… she’s the godmotherof my kids, practically could raise them. and she said today she was like it is so traumatizinghaving a child or, you know, whatever that’s a metaphor for. like, having something completely new instantaneouslythat just turns your world upside down.
it feels traumatizing. and so yeah, that is why it is so importantto to just, yeah, to even though it’s really hard to not think that others have it easierand be disappointed that you don’t have it as easy. or that it’s not as smooth. so let’s shift gears a little. let’s talk about b-school. why did you decide to do it? what were you going through at the time?
what led you to b-school? ok, so i… for the last several years, i’vebeen kind of navigating this sort of dual life, which is that i had a 4 year break betweenthe help and jurassic. and i didn’t mean for it to be a 4 yearbreak. i didn’t want for it to be a 4 year break. i had my daughters, i knew i was gonna betaking a break from acting during the pregnancy and for a maternity leave. but i came back from my maternity leave andi’m like, “i’m back,†and it was very challenging to get my foot back in the door.
and so as i was, you know, again, count startingat one with the auditions. as i was going through that process, i gotan opportunity to… i had directed before, but i got an opportunityto direct a film that was just… it was wonderful. and i did it with my writing partner at thetime, who’s my sister’s husband, i set them up. like, so it was a really wonderful experiencethat i wanted to do. and that film ended up getting shortlistedfor an oscar. and so i was like, “oh, i’m a director… i guess.â€
and so then i started doing a lot more directingand getting hired as a director for a lot of stuff with new media and branded contentand overseeing campaigns and documentaries and… and it was just this really enrichingtime in my life where, you know, i was lactating and needed to be at home a lot, but i couldalso go for these short stints and immerse myself in these creative ventures that werereally rewarding and financially stabilizing. i, during that 4 year period, i lost my saginsurance because i wasn’t working enough to be insured. and my dga insurance kicked in at just theright time. and so where i… when i got jurassic, whichreally was kind of one of those, like, out
of the blue situations, i was like, “oh,i’m acting again.†and it was shortly after that that i learnedabout b-school and i was just like having all… i didn’t do any social media and i was notreally open about all the directing stuff and i don’t know why. and i was like, “i need to think about myselfas a business.†i’ve been very kind of just instinctualand impulse driven and, you know, very connected to my own interests, but there wasn’t reallya game plan. like, when i’d be asked who’s, you know,what’s the career you aspire to have i would
just be like, “i don’t know. i haven’t thought about that.†and so i realized it was because there weremore layers to my career that were suddenly… and opportunities that were opening up, iwanted to go through some kind of an education process so that i could kind of figure outwhat i was hoping to create and how i could be of service and, you know, what… basicallywhat my strategy was. and at the time i was working with this incrediblewoman named isabel foxenduke and she’s an educator and she’s an intuitive eating coach. and i was going through her program onlineand there was an opportunity… she sent out
a newsletter for b-school at some point andthere was opportunity to have, like, one on one interaction with her with b-school andi was like, “this is what i need.†and so i signed up on the spot and isabeland i started talking. and i had so… i remember what kind of convinced me fullyto do b-school was that her business was so strong. she had this great way of scheduling appointments,her website was so clear, her content that she was putting out was groundbreaking. and it was just… the coaching calls thatshe would do.
like, the way in which her business was runwas impeccable. and so i was like i just… i respect this woman not just for what she’steaching and what she stands for. i respect her because of the way that she’shandling herself, the way that she’s running her business. and so, yes, i got this chance to work withher and then b-school started and then it was like i was hooked. like, it was like the eyes glazed over andi was like, “anything you say.†and it was an extraordinary experience andjust… it’s just everything like kind of
like what your mom said. i mean, it’s just… it’s filled withall this common sense, all this kinda stuff that’s sort of like duh but you’d neverthought of it before. and things would be presented typically inreally confusing ways when you’re trying to get to the source of like, you know, whatyour brand is or what, you know, your business model should be or how to start a small business. and it would always be so confusing and thenjust the way that you laid it out was… was also fun. it was, like, the most perfect blueprint forlaunching a career that is completely unique.
and it was just, yeah, it was incredible andi just got totally obsessed with all your videos and was just sending them to everybody. and it was really invaluable and what cameout of b-school was a process of approaching my business. you know, not a kind of a result that’slike i did this, this, this, and this, although things have definitely improved in my lifesince i went through b-school significantly, but it’s also… it’s like, yeah, it’sa process as opportunities come up, as, you know, i have instincts for directions to movein that is… that really gives you the tools you need to create what you’re here to do,essentially.
so thank you for that. thank you. it was the best. and i love also that you can have ongoingmembership, so i always… i log in all the time. i’m like, “what’s happening this week?†and it’s always… it’s just always…it’s the thing that i start my day going like, “of course,†and it just shiftseverything for me. well, i love that and i love that becausewe just have such a diverse community of members.
you know, there are people that have jewelrybusinesses, woodworking businesses, artists of every kind, people that are doing accounting,and it’s just… it’s a really… it’s a lovely thing and we’re so honored to haveyou in b-school. so thanks for sharing about that. and it’s great too because i always feellike i wanna go back to school but realistically with 2 kids and a dual working household andkind of the nature of my work where, you know, tomorrow i might be called to go to, you know,i don’t know, some random place 10 thousand miles away. it’s… it was incredible because i wasable to…
i actually did the majority of b-school whilei was working in new zealand. and it’s… yeah, i’m just so thankfulfor it because sometimes in these, you know, these institutions of formal education it’sreally it’s like you need to pause your life in order to do it and that, like, b-schoolis the perfect complement to one’s day to day life. you know, one’s busy life, one’s lifethat… where they have a lot of commitments. and so that was… yeah. that was huge. love that you’re a b-school alum.
so one thing that you’ve said that we alllove on the team is, “my feeling with movies or any kind of entertainment is that the goalis to be unignorable.†which is wonderful because it can bring alot of attention, but, of course, that can also bring a lot of judgment, a lot of criticism,a lot of harsh stuff. what would you say to folks, because so manyof our people in our audience, they want to create things. what do you have to share about making greatwork and taking that big risk? well, i actually, i learned that from thisextraordinary stage director, a man named ruben polento.
and he has a theatre company called theatreme too and i met him when i was at nyu and did a lot of very avant-garde naked theatreshows with him. and then i was a member of his company afterwards. and he would always say that. he would always say that the goal of an artistis to be unignorable. like, the worst thing that could happen isnot bad reviews or a show closing. the worst thing that could happen is thatpeople in the audience are talking about what they’re going to have for dinner and thenthe show happens and then it ends and then they turn to each other and they say, “youknow?
where i really wanna go to dinner…†i mean, that is the worst thing that couldhappen because it’s basically it’s… yeah. then you’ve been ignored. your work has been ignored and you’re basically… there’s indifference. there’s indifference, which is the worst. which is the worst. and so he would always say that.
he would always say just focus on doing workthat is unignorable. and i used that as, just that mantra, to guideme through all of my early decisions in my and i would get offered projects that i wouldactually think to myself, “this is pretty ignorable. like, this doesn’t need to happen even.†and if people are watching it they might evensay like, “those two hours, i don’t know if i got my money’s worth.†and so i did a lot of things that were kinda…kinda risky and yet i knew that they were projects that could not be ignored.
i mean, the thing that comes to mind is mysecond film, which is this movie called manderlay that lars von trier, a danish filmmaker, wroteand directed. and it was really controversial, unbelievablycontroversial, and weird and kinda like what am i watching here? but i knew it was something that was unignorableand i was really proud of that. and… yes, reviews… all the time reviewscome out and basically when i’m reading reviews, which i don’t actually do thatmuch not because i’m like, “i just can’t read reviews,†it’s just i’m sort oflike, well, they’re doing their job, i did my job.
exactly. if there’s some great feedback or something,i definitely want to read that. you know, great not being like, you know,great, but like… constructive criticism. that’s useful. absolutely. then wonderful. but i don’t really… i don’t know.
i don’t put too much stock. it’s sort of none of my business a littlebit. and… but, like, again, earlier in my careeri remember when there would be a terrible review or whatever, i would say, “well,at least they’re passionate about this. at least they have a point of view.†because you could feel that. like, the reviews that are bad are usuallyangry. the reviews that are bad because somethingis, like, ignorable are just sad. it’s just… it’s kinda sad.
and so… so yes. that has been… that’s sort of my litmustest for most things in my life, to do work that is unignorable. i love it. rather than successful. it’s good. before we wrap up and find out what we cansee you in next, the one last thing that we adore about you is your self effacing senseof humor, because we have that about ourselves i think recently, right, you posted something.
what is it? celebrity…? oh, yes. celebs like me. said you were, like, an 85% match that youlook like yourself. and it was like a 3am situation where i wasjust online… trolling around. subjecting myself to click bait. and i found this and i was…
i’m not actually that technically savvyon the computer, like downloading things and uploading things. and i’m always just like, “ugh!†i actually blame it on my learning disabilitieswith my husband. he’s like, “why won’t you just learnto turn on the television? you don’t know how to turn on the television.†and i’m just like, “i just… i have a processing deficiency, babe.†another way that that can be an advantage.
but i… yeah, so i was like online and igot so… i so badly wanted to see who i looked likethat i did really complicated things to upload my image. i was very proud of myself and then, yeah,i was 85% and it was basically split between christina hendricks, jessica chastain, andswoosie kurtz. and swoosie kurtz is one of my favorite characteractresses and so i was like this is awesome. that’s funny. this is so cool. and i love how you and jessica have had somuch fun from people mistaking you for one
another. i mean, listen, this is also… this has beenkind of a routine of ours for over a decade. because we met each other for the first timeon the help, but before that she was going to school… we went to school at the sametime. she was at julliard, i was at nyu, and constantlypeople would say to me, “oh, i just… i just saw this awesome chick in this showat juilliard and, like, you’re her doppelganger.†or i’d walk into a restaurant and then someonewould yell out, “jess!†and i would, like… at a certain point i got used to it. i was like, “oh, they’re talking aboutthis woman who, you know, who i look like.â€
and she… when we met on the help the firstthing we did was we were like, “hi, nice to meet you. let’s find a mirror.†because apparently the same thing had happenedto her. she’s like, “my whole… my whole adulthoodhas just been like, ‘you look like this girl named bryce.’†and so that had been an ongoing joke for avery long time. and we looked in the mirror and we both havecleft chins, we have the same shaped eyes, and similar mouths, and similar noses, andobviously our skin tone stuff is a certain
way. and hilariously, her birth name, her birthlast name, is howard. no way. i know! that’s amazing. and i was like if my parents hadn’t beentogether since they were 16, i would be questioning a lot right now. but we have… yeah, it’s both… it’sreally… it’s fun but it’s also really useful as well because i get a lot of scriptssent to me that jessica has passed on and
i’m just like, “yes. give it to me. you need a jessica chastain type. like, i’ve been accused of that.†and that, i think… i think being, you know, we all want to beunique. we all want to kind of have this, like, singularvoice of course. but the truth is is that being similar tosomeone else is actually a really helpful thing because especially if that other personis more well known it can help when you’re
talking about your business, you’re talkingabout your work. you can contextualize things, you can say,“it’s a little bit like this. it’s a little bit like that.†and my grandfather one day went in for anaudition for a character that was described as a rance howard type. my grandfather’s name is rance howard. and so he walked in and he’s like, “igot a rance howard type right here.†he didn’t actually get the job. but it’s once, yeah, once you, i don’tknow, just… yeah.
it’s a good thing. i think it’s a good… it’s a very, verygood thing, especially her. to be… and, of course, she’s amazing,you’re amazing, but to be able to be playful with it, i think, is just, it’s awesome. it’s the only way to be. so where can we catch you? what are some projects that are coming up? well, i did a movie in new zealand when iwas starting b-school called pete’s dragon and that just came out.
and i am so, so, so proud of it. it’s a disney film and it’s innocent andit reminds me of the movies that i loved when i was a child. and it’s something i’m just i’m reallyproud to share with my own children. and so yes, so that is out. and then pretty soon a film called gold isgonna come out opposite matthew mcconaughey, and i loved doing that movie. that movie was a last minute thing, actually. i think i got hired, like, 2 days before shootingstarted.
so, yeah, i can be… things can just happenlike that. and then another project that’s going tobe coming out soon is there’s this show black mirror. one of my favorites. yes, so good. i love black mirror. so good. so… so i did an episode that i was in, itwas shot in south africa, and with one of my favorite filmmakers, this wonderful mannamed joe wright who did pride and prejudice
and atonement and he’s just marvelous. and so yeah, that should be coming out soonas well. yay! well, thank you so… thank you for beingsuch a devoted fan. oh my gosh, always. trust me, i’ll always be there. and just for the beautiful work that you’redoing in the world and the way that you share yourself. thank you, thank you, thank you.
thank you, marie. thank you so much. this is just awesome being here and it’svery meaningful, so thank you. now bryce and i would love to hear from you. from all of the juicy stuff that we talkedabout, what’s the single biggest insight that you’re taking away from today’s conversation? leave a comment below and let us know. now, of course, the best things happen overat marieforleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now.
and when you’re at marieforleo.com, makesure you sign up for our insider’s list. you’ll be an mf insider. instantly, you’ll get a download that icreated called how to get anything you want. it’s really good. plus i’ll send you some exclusive contentand some special giveaways and insider updates that i don’t share anywhere else. stay on your game and keep going for yourdreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. thank you so much for watching and we’llcatch you next time on marietv.
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